An appropriate ending to that sentence would be “confusing.” I can’t find anything. I don’t know where I am. Waking up in the middle of the night, I don’t recognize the room I’m in or remember where the bathroom is.

This morning, I noticed a banana in the fruit bowl was getting a little overripe and decided to bake banana nut bread. I remembered seeing two other bananas in the freezer. Just enough.  Oops. Wrong freezer. Have no idea which one has two frozen bananas “ripe” for baking, but if they need another one, I can put it in the mail today.

Thought about dropping by my beyond cool consignment shop to see if they had any fun purses, then realized it’s in Brentwood — about two days away.

Wanted to hit a really good oyster bar and got in the car.  Woops, it’s at Palace Station in Vegas.

Left the house yesterday morning to head to the grocery store — couldn’t find it in spite of the really great map Peggy had drawn for me. Two hours later, after stopping at another supermarket, I had driven by both of the ones I was looking for and couldn’t find my way home.

Luckily, I keep a book on tape in the car. At least I’m enriching my mind (with a really good Brad Meltzer book). I love his stuff. His research is so concise that I automatically assume I’m going to listen to each CD twice just to make sure I’m getting everything. Oh — and a GPS. Don’t leave home without it.

A strange thing happened a couple of weeks ago. As you probably remember, on a whim I applied for a house director job at Oklahoma State. I love Stillwater. It’s an authentic university town with a good sports program (and you know how I love college football) and active Greek life. They have true celebrations. Homecoming is a world-class event. A sorority and fraternity team up to build a float that could easily cost $10,000.  In California, nothing is really celebrated. Homecoming is just another game. Greek Week is more a “mandatory fun” than something to be excited about. And I was sitting in Oklahoma City when the job came open. Figured, “What the heck.”

The job in Stillwater was SO not right for me, and I promised myself I’d run like the wind if I got danger signs. There were plenty of them in this situation, and I made the right decision.

But everytime I open my facebook, the joy I feel when I read posts like, “Dude, I surfed with dolphins this morning,” or seeing one of my beautiful gals become Miss Mission Beach, or finding that so many of my girls are connected — One of my girls from Berkeley and another from San Diego State are both now sales reps for Gallo Wineries. My pageant girl from San Diego State is friends with my pageant girl from Central Oklahoma. I was lucky enough to meet up with one of my NorCal girls when my World Tour took me to Vegas. We laughed about her first two years until we were both on the verge of crying. Her other friends just looked at us with questionning eyes. They thought we were kidding about kegs in the bathtubs.

In Oklahoma City, I got to watch my sorority “niece” dance. And visit with an Alpha Gam and Acacia who married and are now the proud parents of the most charismatic little dude I’ve ever met. It’s marriage season for my first senior class in NorCal. I wish I could be there to celebrate with them, but hope to be at another sorority niece’s wedding in OKC in October.

I was pretty sure I wanted back on the Cali coast, but a job in the (stick with me on this one) eastern-mid-west opened up, and I sent my resume. It’s a sorority I love and respect. We’ll see.

Abbi doesn’t “need” me anymore. She’s entrenched in her business venture, has a great boyfriend, a ton of friends, and connections that would be the envy of people who have been in LA for much longer than she has. I can get a computer with a camera, and we could skype. When I lived ten minutes from her we didn’t get together that often, so we could really celebrate when we were able to get together. Meet in fun places for real vacations.

And I could be close enough to my east coast friends to go to reunion weekends like old classmates are holding in Lewisburg in October, or the All-Class Reunion for my high school next summer. Or just to visit. I want to go mining for gems in North Carolina.  Swim in the warm Atlantic. I have a friend at Butler University in Indianapolis. And Delta’s ready when I am. I could get back to Cali on a non-stop.

I miss my girls. And watching Jeapordy marathons with them (because I know more answers than they do — one of the advantages of being four days older than God). I love having my Pie Nights when I bake for a couple of days and put out a couple of dozen pies during mid-terms or finals…..or surprising them by having the piano bench stocked with scantrons and blue books for tests.

The thing that has been holding me two days from California is that damned worker’s comp case that’s been dragging on for almost five years. I’m tired of waiting for the past to take care of itself and keep me from living a life. It’s time to move on to my next life.Ross Kilroy sure as heck hasn’t let that event interfere with his.

 Hanging out on a college campus, writing, seeing friends; I think I remember that a cousin I haven’t seen since high school is over the university center at the same university with the opening. Another one is in Virginia. I haven’t seen my brother in West Virginia for about ten years.  Being close could be interesting. Physically, I won’t be climbing hills or jumping off cliffs, but I can at least move on and let my past take care of  itself without owning me.

I don’t know what tomorrow will bring, but I’m anxious to find out. Of course, you’ll be right there with me. So, until tomorrow, be safe out there. And don’t let anything keep you from living your life or going after your dreams. Life’s too short. And too precious.