MIA

Wow. What a crazy few days.

First, the job in Stillwater. Not gonna happen. I was getting ready to leave Oklahoma when the job showed up on www.sororitymom.com, and my heart fluttered. Stillwater. I love Stillwater. I could see myself living there. So, I waited a week for the interview, because they told me they were going to make a decision quickly, so I figured that if I was hired, I’d start to work the first of September (right after the holiday weekend). But, they decided to skip another week and have me come in for a week and Contestant #2 come in the week after that. That’s an extra month I hadn’t planned on, but for Oklahoma State, it would be worth it.

And I wrote about all that in my blog. About the proposition of living in Oklahoma, my questions about whether I’d stay once the settlement was over, my missing California; being the usual me — transparent. The reality is that I know myself well enough to admit that if I had taken the job, I would have stayed. I fall in love with girls and want to watch them grow, bring in a new generation, graduate, and follow them once they’re in the real world.

So, after waiting around for two weeks to move into the house, I got a call the day before I was supposed to show up and was told that the girls had been reading my blog and decided they didn’t want me to come in for the test run. Two weeks of my life wasted. Two weeks of wearing out my welcome with precious friends who had custody of me for way longer than they’d anticipated. Believe that things happen for a purpose, but swear I can’t figure out why I spent two weeks’ worth of money and risked harming relationships for nothing.

In retrospect, I had concerns during the interview. A house mom for a fraternity on campus would be “dropping in” from time to time, as would a teacher from Stillwater High. I felt like, after 15 years with one house manager, they would be “checking up on me.” I’ve been in some form of management since I was 21. Micro-managing doesn’t work for me. Also, they were looking at the change in house directors as a “change in direction,” and I’m not sure they knew that direction or what the changes might be. Once again, I could have been caught in the middle of mixed expectations.

Anyway, during that time I was also dealing with the worker’s comp settlement and when it would come down. We were supposed to have the determination from Medicare by the middle of August and 6-8 weeks after that, it should be over. Haven’t received it yet. Can’t procede until it comes.

 And the concerns about marketing Diary of a Sorority House Mom. I had a book signing set up in the University of Central Oklahoma for the 16th, but the manager — a friend of mine from when Abbi and I owned our shop — wasn’t able to order the book through the Barnes & Noble network. My publisher has no idea why. Also, I haven’t been associated with good writers’ groups for four years, and usually those connections would help me in spreading the word. So, I’m on my own and spend each day figuring out what to do next.

And of course, there are concerns about money, and how long what I’ve got will last. Or why my worker’s comp provider hasn’t sent the expense check I should have received the end of July?

So, my life has been a lot of worrying and wondering.

But this morning I woke up at Peggy’s in Denver. I’m safe here. So is Sophie. She’s wandering around the upstairs and has no time for me. I think she’s afraid I’m going to put her in the carrier again now that she’s found a real home. She has her very own windows where she can watch (as Peggy calls it) Kitty TV. She likes Peggy’s bedroom and has spent the morning exploring it. She has not, however, discovered that there are two other balls of fuzz under the same roof. We’ll see what happens when they cross her path — or she crosses theirs. Indiana Jones and Josie have lived with other cats, but we have no idea how the three will interact once their territorial eyes lock for the first time.

Worrying/wondering/on-going concerns have me exhausted.

Today has been declared a “no worry” zone. I’m drinking my early-morning Coke, had some toast as a nod to the first breakfast I’ve had in — can’t remember when. Today, I will clean out the refrigerator and freezer, go to the grocery store, scope out the neighborhood, and spend the day as a real human being with real errands and ignore all things worrysome. I may lay out on Peggy’s beautiful back-yard lawn. Or sit on her patio and read. Tonight, I will watch the mindless TV that is “Big Brother,” and switch to the DNC. Then, I’ll read myself to sleep….except I’m in the middle of a John Connolly book, and going to sleep after one of his reads could be problematic. Maybe I’ll take a different reading route.

Either way, until tomorrow, I’m a normal human being.

In the morning, the legal crap, workers’ comp case that’s been nagging at me for the last 4.5 years, worrying about medical care because they don’t want to assign me doctors since I don’t know how long I’ll be here, figuring out how to write the next book when all my research is in Abbi’s storage unit, and all the other things that race through my mind will still be there.

But for now, I’m headed to the refrigerator.

Until tomorrow, when the sun in Littleton, Colorado comes up and my real world returns, be safe out there…..and take a little time for yourself.