LATE AGAIN

FIRST — Jenni & Jason, all furballs are present, accounted for, and alive. Plants got real rain yesterday. All is good.

And quiet. Really quiet. The animals are totally different when the tribe isn’t here. However, the queen-sized bed seemed a lot smaller last night with four extra bodies in it. Jinx (the baby kitty) sleeps on the black afghan with his head butted up to the red pillow, Jayda Belle (@ 9 months) sleeps on the living room love seat during the day and evening, and both dogs cuddle up at the foot of the sofa at my feet.  Pretty amazing.

SECOND — Had the best time at Mary and Lina’s last night. “Little T” is the most beautiful colt I’ve ever seen. He’s got this roan look, but has a black tail and mane coupled with a bright white star and couple of white socks. To see him in the rain for the first time was precious.

We sat on the porch in the rain, not caring at all that we were getting wet.  Across the highway were a couple of beautiful white horses running around in the rain as if they didn’t know what it was — which was probably true; it’s been so long since there’s been any.

After 23+ days of over 100 degrees — some WAY over 100 degrees (like 112), Lina kept checking her I-phone for the temperature. It dropped as much as seven degrees in an hour. When I left at about 7:30, it was down to 87, and it felt like a cold snap. I drove back to Moore with the windows down.

I love their ranch. First of all, they have a peaceful home. And then there are the horses. Just watching them centers me. Bobby Baffart once said, “There’s something about the outside of a horse that’s good for the inside of a man.” It  always works for me. And there’s a black cat with a white star under its chin that adopted them. There was a home at some point of time because there are no front claws…..but we can’t tell what sex it is.  We’ve been calling it a “she,” but can’t tell because the fur is black and we can’t keep her still long enough to go digging. So, we finally came up with a name last night. “Shim.” Sh(e), (H)im. That covers the bases.
NOT sure what time I got to sleep this morning — maybe 2 or 3 am — but was finally in a really deep sleep when the freaking doorbell rang. I looked at my cell phone to see what time it was. 8 *&)(U& a.m. Are you kidding me? It was a lawn service leaving a flyer. Thanks so much. I was finally getting some sleep. And in, if I remember correctly, a pretty neat dream.

The bummer is that regardless of how little sleep I get (and it’s usually less than more since February), I can function pretty well unless I’m jolted out of sleep. Then I go into House Mom Crisis Mode. Women who live in sorority or fraternity houses for a living can usually sleep with a marching band playing under their window, but the smallest out-of-the-ordinary sound jolts us awake.  When one of those jolts woke me up, I’d get my tee-shirt clad body out of bed, throw on the blue fuzzy robe and be out of my apartment door as quickly as possible to find out what was wrong.

But I’m not a house mom anymore. At least not today. Never know what’s going to happen tomorrow. But today, at a little after 4pm, I’m not a house mom. Therefore, no one. Absolutely NO ONE on the planet should be allowed to jolt me out of sleep once I finally get there.

There are a lot of changes that came out of that damned assault close to five years ago, but the things that bothers me the most is the lack of sleep. Until then, I’d go to bed at 11pm after the news and get up at about 6am, go for a walk or start writing or have breakfast, or do whatever the heck I wanted to do because I  woke up on my own terms, rested and refreshed. Ready for the day.

Now, I try to get to sleep at 11 every night, but it just doesn’t happen. My doctor has tried various meds, but most of them make me really groggy and I can’t function. Finally, we found a combination that worked, but with all the chaos the first three weeks of the spring term this year plus all the uncertainty since then, nothing works anymore.

I want sleep to be my friend again. I want to turn off the tv or put up the book or close the computer, turn out the light, pull the covers up to my neck and be lulled to sleep by birds or an ocean’s roar or the sound of breeze in the trees or chirping crickets. I don’t think that’s too much to ask.

Maybe it’s because I don’t know where I live. Maybe my body doesn’t want to get used to being in the same place, or maybe my mind races. Haven’t figured it out.  Sometimes when I do all the above and sleep doesn’t come, I’m back to a couch or turn the tv set on with the sound really low and close my eyes. Eventually I go to sleep — but sometimes wake up to realize I’ve only gotten a couple of hours’ sleep and I’m beat.

That’s where I am today. Had so many things planned. Need to get some mail out, and finally got all the supplies together and ready to go. But the damned doorbell hit me when my mind was busy watching a mental movie and I woke up exhausted and haven’t stopped being exhausted all day.

And therefore, I’ve done nothing. Except do a load of laundry, watch the China/Brazil bronze medal volley ball game, then watch the USA men’s volley ball team totally suck against (don’t remember who), and am now watching the USA basketball team play Australia. It’s live, so I don’t want to jinx them and tell you the score. It’s now over. They won. Play Argentina for the THIRD freaking time in 20 days in the semi’s tomorrow.

This evening, I’ll put everything out in the living room so I’m ready to get to work when I get out of bed in the morning. I’ll turn off the tv at 11pm when the news is over and try to sleep. Once all the animals get comfortable.

But I don’t care how urgent it is, do not even THINK about waking me up until…..don’t have a clue. Depends on what time I go to sleep. Hope I can go to sleep at my 11pm starting point and wake up refreshed at about 6. That would be so nice.

Keep me in your thoughts. It looks like there’s a chance things could get resolved sooner than later. It would be nice to know where I live again. Or at least be in a position to make that decision. It’s been so long since I was the mistress of my own fate…….

Thanks for being with me on this journey. It means more to me than you know.

Until tomorrow, be safe out there.  See you then. I’m putting a note on the front door tonight. It will explode if touched.